It turns out that the fastest way to avert an existential crisis at a neurologist’s office is for the receptionist to ask for your insurance card. Apparently, “What if I forgot to bring it?” is the wrong question to ask and warrants a surly tapping of a purpose-made sign: Amnesia is not a valid excuse for non-payment.

It’s reassuring to know that no matter what happens today, I’ll still be immutably bound to the services rendered.