The doctor doesn’t seem too surprised with my appearance, fixed on his chart, jotting more of his scribbles. “And all of this occurred last night?” he asks, maybe the first clue he needs to undo this mess.

“Yes, exactly, last night,” I repeat, “Back in my college dorm room. I can’t remember anything else, at least not without this killer headache.” His eyes perk up before turning back toward the manilla folder in-hand, fanning through the pages until something seems to catch his attention. Maybe we’re finally getting somewhere.

“Right, and my body — I was much stronger than this, and I had a beard, and dick…and I didn’t sound like…well —” I shriek, “Like this!”

The doctor winces at my volume, but maintains his sedated. ”Miss Paige, I can assure you the last time we spoke, you were just as…erhm, well proportioned for a young woman.”