The doctor doesn’t say a word, but instead only nods to himself — heads down, jotting away at his chart as a familiar hissing sound emanates from the Calabash shaped vape affixed in his mouth.

As the imitation LED embers fade out, he grabs his rolling stool with one hand and begins scuttling over to me until his body odor is in high definition. “Miss Paige,” he exhales, pointer finger aimed directly at his own nose, “Do you know who I am?”

“…Uhh—”

“—Good answer,” he chimes, scribbling pen to paper before rolling toward a whiteboard against the wall. With the grace of a kindergarten teacher, he begins writing in big block letters, “You can read this, yes?” he asks, tapping the words with his mouthpiece of his pipe.

“I’m not dumb!” I shout, “I know how to read…”

“Doctor Kush?”

“Is this guy a joke?” I ask, looking at Riley before glancing around the exam room for a hidden camera. The doctor just smirks, checking off another box on his chart. “Far from it, Miss Paige. Tell me, do you recognize this office, anything in it at all?”

“No…not really, but look, this isn’t why I’m here. Well, I’m not sure why I’m here, but there’s been a lot of weird stuff going after I woke up this morning…as a woman!”

A short laugh slips out through his coughing, along with another cloud of cotton candy vapor, “Woke up as a woman? Now that’s something we haven’t seen here before.”

“It’s true!” I plead, seconds from lifting my shirt to prove it. “Alexa!” Riley shouts, leaping over to swat my hand, “Sorry, doc,” she glares back, “I think my friend forgot how to be modest too.”