…And yet, Riley doesn’t let her suspicious glass of orange juice shatter on the kitchen floor.

She doesn’t freak out and ask what happened to Alex, her obviously male, definitely a dude, college bestie.

She doesn’t even flinch when the chilled breeze of the A/C brings my tits from sedated to perky.

She can only stare at the generously pointed and plump evidence of my sudden transformation into womanhood.