Strangely, my always-suspicious roommate anticipates my fork and knife skills to rival a rigged claw game. She not-so-casually helps by making a few cuts into my stack of pancakes, again and again. Riley is just ‘taste-testing the batch’, is the excuse she’s rolling with.

I’m not exactly elegant in Alexa’s lighter frame, but I think I’m getting the hang wielding her hands. In fact, I actually wanted half a bottle of maple syrup on my pancakes and even some Alexa’s auburn waves too. Women probably prefer condiments in their hair, too, maybe for some late-night snacking…

…Or not.

God, now I’m the one acting suspicious! And am I even sitting like a woman? Do they tuck their chesty assets under the countertop while eating, or do they just lay them out like two grapefruits on special?