“That’s a relief!” The ever-confusing woman cheers, clapping her tented fingers with the earnest pride of a schoolteacher. “You’re wearing clothes!” is all she cares about, seemingly unaware of any changes in my chest or otherwise.

What the fuck is going on?

“Oh, also!” Riley chimes, “I bet you’re feeling well enough to even use these too.” Her smiles spans from ear to ear as she reaches for the silverware, sliding a fork and knife into each of my hands before grabbing a set of her own.