“That’s not true!” I shriek, “I didn’t sound like this last night or have tits and a vag.” I was going to take a quick peep into my shorts and double-check the evidence, but the sight is still so mesmerizing. “This is pretty wild,” I say, “Is it even real? I don’t see any scars.”

Letting her pile of apparent evidence fall to the floor, Riley darts over. “Lex!” she cries, lifting my shorts back up and past my belly button., “Modesty! People wear clothes in public!”

“Owww!” I cry, “Just stop acting like a weirdo and tell me why I’m a girl!” But Riley doesn’t answer, opting to leave me in a wedgie and scramble back to her collection.